It may sound like a dream come true to any of the run-of-the-mill bachelors reveling in their singularity, but for an entire summer, I slept with a lot of women. Like, a lot. I'm not exclaiming this fact for bragging rights, nor am I denying that I'm proud of what happened -- but for all intents and purposes -- I'm just setting up a story. Ninety days, twenty women, oodles of life lessons. Here's everything I learned from a summer of major promiscuity.
I Totally Enjoyed It
I enjoyed everything about the constant hookups -- the late nights, the sloppy makeout sessions, dragging myself out of bed to meet someone at a bar, making coffee for two instead of one. Look, you're only young once -- not to say one should ever factor in their age when considering the ideas of sex -- but not everyone's going to have the chance to sleep around once they're out of those early years. You grow up, you get married, you have kids, your kids have kids. And, unless you're on Ashley Madison (lol) you're not going to want to dive into a life where you cheat on your wife and disappoint your kids. Thus, when you're free and single, enjoy it. That's what I did.
Being Safe Was Hard
I'm all for promiscuity, but I'll never endorse doing being promiscuous and unsafe, that's just a ridiculous thing to do. Some of my biggest shocks came when I insisted upon grabbing a condom and having the girl try to convince me otherwise. The excuses would be constant and incredibly off-putting: “I'm about to have my period,” “I just got tested,” “I hate how condoms feel.” For the amount of stereotypes out there about guys being sex-hungry freaks, I couldn't get over the amount of women who wanted to put their health on the line for a night of fun. That being said -- be safe, people. Just put on a condom and save the raw-doggin' for when you're in a committed relationship and can be sure you're not going to give each other every STI on earth. Pro-tip: Scabies is very easy to catch.
The Grass Is Always Greener
Whenever I've had a girlfriend, I've yearned for the single life, but what I wasn't expecting was to feel that yearning the other way around. I attribute some of this yearning to all the How I Met Your Mother I was watching at the time. As I dated around, all I really wanted was someone I could hang out with for more than a few hours. It was nice feeling liked, but I really missed feeling loved. I found myself dating without rhyme or reason, whereas now I feel like people should date with a goal in mind. While the hunt for a person to be with doesn't have to be consuming and extensive, it shouldn't totally leave one's mind when dating.
I Don't Have A Type
I always thought I liked a specific kind of girl -- the girl my current girlfriend is, but when I was dating, all preconceived notions of my “type” went out the window. Thanks to the incredibly convenient pre-Tinder dating apps like OkCupid aiding my dating spree, I found myself meeting up with and feeling intensely attracted to girls I never would have ever previously considered. In retrospect, I think they felt the same way, too. There were some dates in which we'd look at each other and admit that we would never get together under any other circumstances than the ones brought upon us with dating apps. That being said, I suggest everyone dates outside their standards and expectations -- some of my best dates were with girls that never would've looked at me in high school.
Dating Costs A Lot Of Money
Whether or not you consider yourself to be a gentleman who insists on paying the bill, dating is expensive. Even in those occurrences where I was only buying myself food or drinks, the sheer consistency in which I was going out and spending money on sustenance broke the bank. Needless to say, dating is expensive as hell.
It's A Necessity
I truly do believe that everyone should use this method of hardcore dating at one point in their lives. It shows you a part of yourself that you're not used to seeing and puts everything in perspective. Through the act of going out with and sleeping with over a dozen women, I learned exactly who I was looking for in a partner; their traits, their sex drive, their hobbies, their personality -- I just found this out by being with people who didn't possess any of the quirks I was interested in.
Breaking Up Is Hard
I'll fully admit that I get way too wrapped up in people, which became especially apparent as I found myself feeling a deep connection with way too many people in a row… or at once. I've said “I love you” more times than I can count and have found “the one” like, ten times. On the other side of things, the women who shared the same feelings for me didn't didn't lose them as quickly as I did -- this led to a multitude of painful and awkward breakups. I specifically remember one incident in which I saw a girl I'd broken things off with twice in the same week, both times were incredibly uncomfortable and ended up with her cursing me out in public. So, yikes.
Personal Time Is Glorious
I can't speak to the feelings of those with wives and families who likely have a lot less time to themselves than I did at the time, but personal time is glorious. After a summer of waking up with someone in my bed or rolling over and finding myself in a foreign part of town, I came to love an empty house. There's nothing better than a hangover-free morning in your bed with a full cup of coffee and zero responsibilities. It's a rarity nowadays as I live with a wonderful girl, but if you can spend time by yourself, do it.
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